Comments (160)

1614937 - 18 Oct, 2023 - 10:11AM

- boav91

That's kind of sad to hear. Now, not only do I need to match by age, distance, interests, looks, owl/lark and aspiration, but also by how often we message eachother? Personally, I think that will turn my pool of potential IEs into a shallow puddle in the hot sun!

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1408586 - 18 Oct, 2023 - 10:05AM

Agree Bobby224 we are not teenagers obsessing over the meaning of every message!

One of the reasons I ended something that I did not want to end, but felt he left me no choice, was surrounding his rubbish comms. Obviously a lot more to it but I did end up feeling disrespected.

It’s something I’ve reflected on quite a lot in terms of what is and isn’t ok for me. And the importance of comms in an affair (for me). One thing I do know is that if lack of comms is causing me anxiety again I have to walk away

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boav91 - 18 Oct, 2023 - 08:27AM

So yes I want if possible, with no risks, daily contact and when I settled for my new IE here, that is what happened. We have a good morning and a good night as well as contact when we can in the day. Day to day will vary based on risk but we try and both like the same amount of contact. Also as both our regular partners are generally asleep by 1030 on a Friday that becomes date night and the chat then can last for several hours.

Nothing beats in person meets but that is not as possible as much as we would like and this keeps the connection going.

I tried connecting with others and it was not the same so I think the key is there will be someone who matches what you want. If you are not feeling satisfied you either bring it up and resolve or maybe it is. not right. Having had both good and bad there are people who will match what you need.

There is no point being dissatisfied in two relationships is my take on it

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Enigma.. - 18 Oct, 2023 - 06:56AM

@Bobby224 @Beckysharp

I, personally, most days, cannot get onto the site during the day when I’m working but on my days off, if no one is about, I’ll log onto the site and message via other means too. It’s the same in the evenings and at night.
Everyone’s circumstances are different.
I’m not involved with anyone at the moment.
However I’ve had males get fed up with the fact I cannot always message/reply back, via the site, WhatsApp, telegram etc… straight away. They’ve gone on to accuse me of messaging other males via different means of communication.
This even though I tell them my work and personal circumstances 🤷🏼‍♀️🙄.

Bobby224 - 18 Oct, 2023 - 06:48AM

Beckysharp

I do agree with you. We are adults not love struck teenagers and for the right person a middle ground can be met. I was just sharing my feelings and experiences that messaging daily was I think a factor in the longevity of my affairs especially with infrequent meets. So it was an important factor for my partner and me, doesn’t mean I’m right!

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Enigma.. - 17 Oct, 2023 - 09:13PM

@Bobby224

I should imagine most people come onto the site, regardless of whether it’s morning, noon, evening or night, when they can.

1408586 - 17 Oct, 2023 - 09:11PM

I was thinking similar Bobby224. Presumably the people posting here are biased to wanting frequent messaging as we are messaging on here!

Ime a lot of people are not into messaging but are great in person. I think as long as a happy middle ground is found I’m ok with that

Succubus69 - 17 Oct, 2023 - 08:50PM

I'm quire partial to a good morning and good night text myself
Proves that they are thinking of me which makes me feel special

Bobby224 - 17 Oct, 2023 - 08:47PM

Enigma

I totally understand that there will be days where people can’t message, that will be the case in every affair. It was more important for me in my two affairs as we could not meet as often as we may of liked in both affairs. I can see if you are meeting very regularly then it may not be as important? Also depends on the affair the individuals are after. I have always enjoyed very meaningful affairs with feelings but no confusion if that makes sense? But getting very close with my partner in crime.

I will add though the same people seem to be on these forums most nights so surely they can spare a message most nights!

Bobby224 - 17 Oct, 2023 - 08:35PM

Legs&Eyes

You are very kind, I have read lots of your posts and yes I agree it’s a shame m so far away...

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