Is ADHD a good excuse?
My best friends husband cheated on her last month and he is using his recent ADHD diagnosis as the reason he played away. I don’t know what advice to give her. I think this is a cop out excuse and he’s using the diagnosis to get away with it and get her back but the more I read about it I am coming around to being on his side more. Can anyone offer any wisdom or their own experiences on this? Feels like ADHD is all we hear about these days and it is really to blame mistakes on it rather than someone behaving like a complete a**ehole!!! I want to give her the right advice but I’m torn… help.
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Comments (35)
Sandypops - 14 Sep, 2023 - 01:38AM
Is it only me who finds it hilarious to have a discussion about excuses for cheating, on a cheating site 😂 and the cheater behaving like an a***hole?
My friend has ADHA and she was faithful for 20yrs before she joined here. But due to her ADHD brain she gets bored with just one man very quickly 😂
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Iggypop - 13 Sep, 2023 - 07:17PM
The best advice os to deal with the behaviour. Any condition is not an excuse for unacceptable actions. I agree with the other comment about not getting directly involved, that frequently ends in tears.
Lbgood11 - 13 Sep, 2023 - 06:25PM
In honesty I would stay out of their relationship. Be an ear to listen to, a shoulder to cry on.
But ultimately the how, whys, where next is between them and them alone. You want to be a good friend but they need to figure it out between themselves.
Just be the best friend you can be without being involved in specifics?
Sorry not much help .... or maybe some help ...
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logicboy - 13 Sep, 2023 - 12:50PM
P. S. I'd suggest that no matter the situation, it's generally preferable to consider these thi vs as reasons perhaps (and maybe one of many) but never as excuses. Personal responsibility for our choices is a must, generally.
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logicboy - 13 Sep, 2023 - 12:47PM
In my experience both for children but I think especially adults, any diagnosis or sudden realisation or acceptance of a neuro diversity can have quite a profound effect.
How that plays out behaviourally is going to complicated. I'd be asking him if he'd considered playing away before, if so why had he never felt able to talk to his wife about it, would he be interested in a open relationship now...
For your best friend - depends totally on what she wants and needs from a marriage.
Tough situation no doubt and I don't think it is helped by the whole tradition and institution around religion, marriage with associated social norms to which we are expected to conform.
Us in this site are actually leading the way in demolishing the establishment, we are heroes...
Excuse the facetiousness - tough situation, hard not to feel for them both. Are there kids involved?
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