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Casual?

I'm wary of profiles that say they are looking for 'casual'. My interpretation of 'casual' is seeing someone once in a blue moon, no relationship external of a bedroom, and being messaged whenever they feel they need sex. Sometimes you read the rest of a profile and they are looking for one person and want a meaningful affair. What gives?

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Comments (101)

1623840 - 25 Sep, 2023 - 12:43AM

Illicit means forbidden so for most that means we are up to something we should t really be doing right? . If you are looking for marriage I think you are on the wrong site. Sure it COULD lead to that but likelyhood is not. What is so wrong with just wanting sex? As long as both parties are happy with whatever is agreed I see no problem with any sort of relationship. Some people don't even want to meet and just chat. It's personal preference

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1447655 - 23 Sep, 2023 - 01:53PM

I really must cut to a and compelling issue...

QueenLilith - do you really smoke a pipe?! And why crocodile green and not, say, cadmium?

I really hope you do smoke a pipe. Your profile really made me laugh this morning, and it's not been a great week - thankyou! šŸ‘


Jay122 - 23 Sep, 2023 - 01:25PM

I think itā€™s all so subjective. Just as in the sexy text debate, the very same ā€˜sexyā€™ words to one receiver would send them running like a firework had been ignited between their cheeksā€™ and those same words would have anotherā€™s head spinning and fingers tapping in response like a sprinter on fast forwardā€™ā€™.
Casualā€™ for me is more of a relationship that is not all consuming to the point of being a priority over other key responsibilities (family, work etc) , but appreciate from what Iā€™m reading that for many itā€™s way to suggest a sex only based relationship when suits without compromise.

I think the very wise SandyP has it spot on, just ask, ā€˜what does Casual mean to you?ā€™ And then you can move forward or politely retreat and mark down as ā€˜not for meā€™.

Great to read these comments though.

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1408586 - 23 Sep, 2023 - 12:33PM

Also I think these casual situations are almost always controlled by the man. They will be super super keen when horny and trying to persuade you to meet. Then vanish completely when theyā€™re not.

Thatā€™s just my experience though

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1408586 - 23 Sep, 2023 - 11:44AM

Casual for me means occasional fuck buddy. Both meeting up once in a while when the opportunity is there. No contact in between.

Ive done it a couple of times. But itā€™s not an affair. So not what Iā€™d be looking for on here.

Iā€™d never ask someone to clarify what they mean by casual personally. As chances are they will just lie to manipulate me!

Iā€™ve also learnt to discuss specifics like how often I like to meet/messaging in between etc before sleeping with someone. So I donā€™t become casual without realising!!

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Paula99 - 23 Sep, 2023 - 11:32AM

Sandy P ..

Hope it works out šŸ™„


Enigma.. - 23 Sep, 2023 - 10:47AM

@Sandypops

Good luck šŸ€šŸ’‹


1408586 - 23 Sep, 2023 - 10:29AM

Great news and šŸ¤ž Sandypops


Paula99 - 23 Sep, 2023 - 05:45AM

The definition of ā€˜casualā€™ isā€¦..
A person who does something irregularly.šŸ˜..

In terms of IE that means a guy that just wants a bit on the side when HE feels like it ..also it could mean that your prospective affair likes to ā€˜humpā€™ everyoneā€™s leg..
your guy could determine that an affair is a casual relationship outside his marriageā€¦..YOU CHOOSE?

ā˜ ļøā€¦ā€¦you have been warned

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Sandypops - 23 Sep, 2023 - 02:52AM

We all have a slightly different interpretation of the word casual. Surely the only way to know what another's interpretation is, is to chat and ask.
Some of us may have 'evolved' whilst being here, others may know exactly what they are looking for and won't deviate from that. I've certainly tried out a number of different approaches, to find what I really want and what works for me.
I've also found, from experience, that a man may say he wants a long term affair and be very convincing on meeting, only to vanish with some bull excuse!
I think, and hope, I'm learning how to weed out the disingenuous men but it's not always easy.

Oh and update on me .... I've tried to apply all your wonderful, helpful advice and I think I'm finally moving on from the guy who messed my head, with the help of a lovely šŸ¤žšŸ¼ man who I hope will soon be my ie. Keep everything crossed he doesn't turn out to be an A-hole šŸ˜‚

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