Comments (153)

1386447 - 23 May, 2020 - 03:09PM

Well, my IE suggested we ask a third to join us. So are we being monogamous to each other, or more unfaithful........we will both be there so hardly a secret :)

pkash78 - 23 May, 2020 - 03:03PM

it can’t be as clear as black and white..

It certainly a mixture of both.

You may have a marriage but you want something on the side that completes the void .. then if that IE is not enough .. or not giving you what you want.. or you discover that you are still not fully satisfied or not capturing you fully, then may you can find someone else.

It is all about honesty though.. you have to be open and say and communicate .. and it may be no just sex you are talking about .. it may one need a friend.. a true listener .. or someone to share an experience with . a hobby..

A good old friend.. it doesn’t have to come with benefits.. it will be good if it did.. but from experience an all rounded human with all qualities fitted is a rare breed .. and if they are abundant.. we wouldn’t all be here trying to find the extra bit that is missing..

tea_coffee_me_ - 23 May, 2020 - 02:59PM

"Songbird478 - When does an IE become your IE? When you’ve chatted for X amount of days? When you’ve met? When you’ve had sex?"

That is a really good question.
Chatting - no
Meeting - no, for me the % that go on to a 2nd meetinf is VERY LOW
1st Private meeting - I would say no, as often one or both parties feel they are not compatible.
Possibly when you reach about 5 private meetings can you have that type of conversation as until that point you have no idea about adult compatibility, how often you can really see each other. If the structure of the meetings are working for you both...

As for the other comments about being safe, protection should ALWAYS be used, as yes a lot of the older age groups are catching more things as it is a different way of life to the younger days!
ALSO IF you are able to have access to regular testing, DO SO!
The NHS etc has made it more and more difficult, however for your own piece of mind and for any innocent party, if you can find a way - do it!!

 10 members like this comment.

splendored - 23 May, 2020 - 02:39PM

I don't have sex with my wife and haven't had sex with her for several years, which is why I am here on IE.
I wouldn't try to have a relationship with more than one IE because it would over complicate my already over complicated life. I value my sanity too much. Having one IE is risky enough having more than one at the same time would in my view be reckless.
I would always ask my IE from the start if, like me, they are happy to be "monogamous".
Not that really matters but is it possible to be monogamous with someone else whilst still married?

 3 members like this comment.

Teresa di Vicenzo - 23 May, 2020 - 02:32PM

I have sex with my husband. Rarely. I think we’ve ‘done it’ about 3 times this year!
I expect to be my IE’s one and only. He’ll probably have sex with his wife, and that’s ok. But I don’t want an IE who has women all over the place. I think that’s irresponsible and ultimately risky regarding diseases etc (apparently rife among people of a certain age group - my age group 🙄)
Each to their own, everyone has their own ideals. However, if I discovered an IE was seeing others, then I’d end it. Simples. Others may be happy to share but it’s not for me.

 11 members like this comment.

ClassyLady77 - 23 May, 2020 - 02:08PM

I’m loyal to my IE, if they’re loyal to me..

Yes I do have sex with hubby.. I seem to be in the minority... 😂

 3 members like this comment.

tender_rock - 23 May, 2020 - 02:08PM

Doesn't matter if one is monogamous or poly, what matter is to be truthful to ourselves and to the partner about what our intentions are.

Everyone has their own goals and desires and expectations from the person in their lives and free to pursue it.

Have been monogamous and would like to keep it that way but don't mind if my IE is not however would expect her to be honest about it.

"Fornication depends on communication!"

 2 members like this comment.

Pogosticks87 - 23 May, 2020 - 01:48PM

How men and women view things are normally different (not all). I think it depends on the person and their circumstances.

if you travel the length and breadth of the country on a weekly basis it would be silly of anyone to assume that you wouldn't be looking for others in different areas. Not all, but some would. The problem is honesty here.

I know the whole site is based in the premise of dishonesty and in a way it is a facade that we expect everyone on here to be honest however it makes things a whole lot easier if they are. If your circumstances allow you to have more than one I. E then you should be honest with all of them. It's up to them then if they want to continue with you.

Personally I stick with one, that suits my circumstances and my personality. I'm always honest and say this, if he doesn't agree I won't take it further. But I also won't scold him either. It's his choice.

Home life has to stay the same otherwise your just asking for trouble!

 3 members like this comment.

1357586 - 23 May, 2020 - 01:40PM

Can you cheat on an IE? Isn't an IE the cheat aspect ?

Depends on your reasons for being here. I do not want a serious, live in each other pockets relationship. If I did I wouldn't be here!

I just want the life I have with a few extras. No drama, I go to the theatre for that. No demands, work has that one sealed lol.

Just fun, friendship and frolics suits me completely

 5 members like this comment.

pkash78 - 23 May, 2020 - 01:00PM

I don’t believe that humans were naturally born monogamous.. that is just unnatural .
Marriage is a new institution added by civilisation and religion ..
our human emotions and natural needs and propagation of life cannot accept monogamy as the norm.. it is counter productive..
never heard of a bee that tastes only on flower. Our emotional well being relies on diversity and new relationships
Marriage as an institution invented by religion and civilisation is counterproductive
we can keep the marriage to complete the facade. To satisfy the religion / society / family / economy .

But our emotional well being as humans relies on diversity
We are naturally a social creature

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