Comments (153)

EmnEm123 - 02 Mar, 2025 - 08:45PM

Crikey, most are complaining that they don't receive replies to messages, therefore never meet anyone. By my calculation that's not adding up to multiple IE's?

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Paula99 - 02 Mar, 2025 - 07:19PM

At one time I would have said it’s difficult to manage more than one IE…but the quality of prospective affairs just isn’t there anymore…..also time windows are sketchy to say the least plus we are fishing in a pool not a river…
We are all busy people and it’s our duty to fill every hour of our lives with multiple hobbies/pastimes besides what we have at home ….BUT in saying that it seems to be more possible now because the ‘affairs ‘ are not immediate and more short term….so multiple people can be ‘fitted in’…in layman’s terms you are having regular sex but with more than one person …of course it goes without saying…you must take care of your sexual heath..

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1734904 - 02 Mar, 2025 - 04:59PM

For me personally, yes one IE is enough and unless agreed otherwise, that should be enough if you are with the right person that you have met the right person.

But I have met and been intimate with someone from IE and we agreed afterwards to an exclusive affair, only to find him actively searching for another IE connection afterwards. So disappointing, but probably my fault for taking his word as being true and honest! Fool me once.. shame on you and all that!

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Expandmyhorizons - 27 Dec, 2024 - 12:11PM

My answers are:
1. No, not monogamous with my IE.
2. Not cheating in my eyes and yes have had multiple.
3. Am always open and say I do see others.
4. Yes, relationship with partner, but almost platonic.

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1709555 - 18 Dec, 2024 - 12:53PM

I think when you’re first looking for an IE (or any dating) it’s acceptable to have dates with two or more people for a short while. But once you’ve clicked, one only. So many reasons, including health, but for myself I simply don’t have the headspace or time to date more than one person. Quite apart from the problems of remembering who said what, to whom, and when?

Happy Henry - 17 Dec, 2024 - 01:52PM

Definitely only time and energy for one at a time, and no desire to test that - although no judgement from me for those, male or female, who do.

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Paintednails - 17 Dec, 2024 - 10:37AM

It depends on the kind of person you are and what you are looking for. I was monogamous with my first IE guy for nearly two years WHY? Because I don't have time for men (reason I'm single) and I just wanted one man who didn't leave his socks at home. The most important thing, we really did click, on all levels mentally being the most important to both of us. You can't be "monogamous" if you don't click, something will always be missing and just like in your relationship, you'll go looking for it.

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boav91 - 17 Dec, 2024 - 06:57AM

By the way I certainly don’t judge anyone who has multiple, if that works for them then we are all here for a main reason and are not here to criticise others in case someone wondered . Each to their own

boav91 - 17 Dec, 2024 - 06:55AM

The thing life has taught me is that it is not always greener elsewhere. My IE is not the type to be happy with bed hoppers and I find the effort to be safe in the long term so too difficult and risky with multiple people. Being one of life’s planners too many variables introduces increased levels of uncertainty and risk.

For me I prefer getting to know that one person and explore each others needs in the context of what this is. Neither of us plan to leave our main partners so we realise we are the second relationship and the demands that places on us and the strain through lack of availability. This is where those who want more may go for more ie’s but we prefer to wait and make the most of what we have and enjoy that rather than risk it with others and the whole house of cards then falling down.

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David13 - 16 Dec, 2024 - 10:20PM

When I was younger I did have multiple IE’s.
I told them and it seemed to be a turn on for them - it even became competitive.
But now I’m only interested in one at a time.
I just want to learn all there is to know about that person and to see where our boundaries are.

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