Comments (160)

1117169 - 29 Mar, 2021 - 03:07PM

If you are both reasonable, mature, flexible understanding individualsand you trust each other, you will come to an understanding about communication and you never let it becomes an issue

If it is or does become an issue that you can't resolve then maybe they are not the best person for you and you either end it or put up with it.

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Teresa di Vicenzo - 29 Mar, 2021 - 02:24PM

Woohoo! A new topic! I’m so happy ..

As I’ve said before, I have an IE. We text pretty much every day, although weekend texts can be sparse and brief, but as we both have ‘real lives’ it’s to be expected. We speak on the phone when we can, obviously with prior arrangement, usually a few days in advance - he likes to be organised ..

I’m not naturally a needy person, but I don’t think I could cope with the OPs comment that they can ‘go days’ without a reply. I’m afraid I’d feel disrespected, and only good for one thing. Yes, I’m an over-thinker, but when communication is rare it’s hard not to think about exchanges etc, and if they don’t happen, well, are we just cheap sex workers? OP, you’re not being over-sensitive, talk to your IE about your thoughts and see how it’s taken. Messaging may not be an easy thing for your IE to do. Lots of possible reasons why they don’t happen. Just make sure you’re happy. If you’re not happy there’s no point in risking your life for

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Prof. - 29 Mar, 2021 - 01:33PM

I think that if you get to know each others habits then its easier to understand gaps in chat, probably why its important to establish an understanding of each others circumstances before jumping in head first.

Sin Aman101 - 29 Mar, 2021 - 12:07PM

I think an affair by its nature is very difficult to have good conversations on Kik or email...all the nuances of tone facial expressions etc. Are missing... Great for a hello.. miss you .. thinking of you etc.. I prefer to wait for the saucy bits in person bit when I am at home with my partner and kids I think the least I can do is give them the time.. however everyone is different.. unfortunately the more we change our routine the more likely we are to get caught

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241014 - 29 Mar, 2021 - 11:52AM

Good conversation should be a broad church but let’s face it, we are not all always scintillating conversationalists.

Personally I would have a rule that if a hotel antics have occurred then ghosting is no longer remotely appropriate so one should at least expect the dignity of being dumped. Meaning one should assume the delay between messages is unavoidable / for a good reason and nothing more sinister.

One could easily go a week in between even if only the most perfunctory check in and brief Hello. The size equivalent of the hand squeeze or peck in the cheek when other things get in the way of true connection with ones primary.

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1411908 - 29 Mar, 2021 - 10:30AM

I meet someone in october, we were kik messaging every minute of the day almost. Except weekends. it was hard for both parties. Within a few weeks, hotel room meet up's happened and meet up every week. Then one day we had a scare in Early Jan. Someone I knew just happened to be in the hotel car park I walked out into..
So she went her own way and saia to make contact in the summer.

Month later, we were back meeting every 3-4 weeks and message a few times a week.

Looking back, I think we both let the lust consume us for a few months and now things have slowed down due to that scare.

I'm confused, cos i sort of have that long term relationship, but at a distance. which i both know we do't want, maybe the worry will die down and we'll meet more often when lock down gets better.

strange times

Reef7765 - 29 Mar, 2021 - 09:31AM

From my personal experience its as and when possible for either party .. no expectation setting as that can lead to disappointment if either party aren’t able to communicate …

kungfu man - 29 Mar, 2021 - 09:23AM

trust is key here as cheftouse says we all have our home life to deal with as long as you are honest there should not be a problem , i had an affair were we were very honest we both agreed if it run its course or someone got feelings then we would stop .
it did finish but we still keep in incontact with each other as friends

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1386735 - 29 Mar, 2021 - 09:18AM

Aha a new topic.
Well I will be watching this one with interest.

My last IE told me that I didn’t give him enough ‘good conversation’ in between meets, the funny thing is whenever I tried to start ‘good conversation’ I was always told he’s too busy or he’s too knackered etc etc, with one time him telling me he didn’t really want to strike up a conversation with me. 🤔 I still don’t quite understand that one, I think perhaps it was a case of he wanted dirty chats or saucy pics 24/7 and that I was not willing to do. Perhaps if he’s reading this he could explain?!!! 🤡 but then again he has no balls so probably won’t.

Anyway, I think it all depends on your circumstances and what you both want. It’s a difficult balance trying to not come across needy or too distant, I’m not sure what the answer is really,

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1444621 - 29 Mar, 2021 - 09:12AM

It depends on quite a few things really , most of the lovely people on here are married or with someone . so home life ( as not to arouse suspicion) so they spend time with the other half .

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