Am I just panicking or should I be concerned?
I’ve been chatting to a guy on here since last October, and wanted to meet him, but due to a family bereavement on his side, a meet hasn’t happened yet.
Recently I’ve really wanted to meet him, but when I mention he says he can’t, as he’s too flakey and concentrating on his family. He has a habit of going awol from chats for weeks at a time, with no word, then comes back, and expects me to be ok about that.
This week he finally decided that he’s like to meet, but I’m worried about the circumstances. The hotel he’s picked is near his workplace, but a 40min drive for me, he doesn’t want to meet for a drink first, just go straight for sex. He’s picked the day, but hasn’t even asked me if it’s convenient for me.
My intuition is telling me to be careful, but I’m not sure if I’m just nervous, as this would be my first affair.
Could anyone that has more experience offer and guidance or gut feelings on this one?
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Comments (151)
Paula99 - 24 Feb, 2022 - 05:08PM
Get rid...alarm bells should be going off in your head....the guy has no concern for your feelings he's a complete tosser..š¤„
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Mad World - 24 Feb, 2022 - 04:49PM
This āTime Wastingā thing is used so much itās boring
I feel as though all the ladies here preaching this term must either be so unlucky that all they meet are āTime Wastersā or arenāt actually meeting anyone at all. The counter is how do they know itās not them coming up short instead of the bloke theyāre chatting to?
EmnEm123 - 24 Feb, 2022 - 04:03PM
Don't meet him and cut contact.
He's just out for himself. Nothing wrong with looking for hook ups but it has to be right for both parties.
Perhaps it would be best all-round if he kept concentrating on his family, you concentrate on what you want/need.
This would be your first time meeting someone from here, you don't always click in person.
I think if you meet and have sex you could be filled with regret, find someone who isn't such a user/loser.
There is something off about this.
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1497533 - 24 Feb, 2022 - 02:44PM
Life in the Fast Lane - 24 Feb, 2022 - 02:10PM
Nobody said about only men looking for sex. In this specific example the OP said he wants to meet for sex and nothing else
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ClassyLadySurrey - 24 Feb, 2022 - 02:24PM
š¤¦š¼āāļø Heās a Time waster.. Move on:.. IF a man doesnāt want to meet me in the first few weeks of chatting heās not worth my time and IF he lets me down heās gone .. Iām ruthless š
Also Never do hotel first meet. Heāll just see you once and then ghost you..
Thereās decent men out there.. As itās your first then you have to make sure itās with the right personā¦ You will know when you find the one.. š
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1506940 - 24 Feb, 2022 - 02:16PM
Avoid this one, he is not usual for IE. Bereavement or no bereavement, you do not have to accept bread crumbing behaviour. If someone disappears regularly you are having a lucky escape, do not be there when he reappears. There are plenty others who will appreciate you.
I have been on here before in the first lockdown and had many wonderful dates with gentlemen who wanted to get to know me first and check the attraction was there for both of us, and when the hotels opened, some very nice hotel dates. I usually chat on here, then chat off here then have a video conversation so I know what they look like, then I meet in a public place. After that I arrange a hotel date if I feel like it.
Be clear about what you want from an IE liaison and state it on your profile and the chaps who want the same will find you.
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1481371 - 24 Feb, 2022 - 02:11PM
Have you even seen photo's? As a chap on here who has not made that connection yet, I can only give my gut instinct as a person. If that was a woman, I would back away, on several grounds. First the lack of communication, second , sorry, people may say many things, they seem sincere, but you have no proof that anything said is true, people do lie! He doesn't want to have a relationship with you, as in drinks. Maybe he's nervous, but I'd say at best unsure and not committed. Appreciate you've invested a lot of time, and it's hard to find the right contact. I'd conclude this is not in your best interests.
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Mad World - 24 Feb, 2022 - 02:10PM
Just for the record ā¦
Itās not only men that come here looking for sex only
And itās not only men who are the FAD of this site aka āTime Wastersā. Women have that particular party trick well and truly sewn up, Olympic-Champion-Esque in nature almost.
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Peaches1 - 24 Feb, 2022 - 02:02PM
IMO if it was me I would have stopped contact weeks ago! There are a lot of timeswasters on here unfortunately. If you are happy to have sex with a stranger that you havent even met then please be careful sweetie. I certainly wouldn't that's for sure. Seems to me like he's playing on your vulnerability of never doing something like this before. If he's not happy to go at the pace you feel comfortable with then get rid.
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MatureWorcsBBW - 24 Feb, 2022 - 01:10PM
I'm sure that we all are sorry for the loss of a family member that he's experienced.
Personally speaking, I wouldn't meet him.
You have to decide if you want to invest your time or waste your time, trying to achieve something that you have made no choices about.
Guys who want to go straight to sex, yeah, I get it if that's all they want and that it's convenient for them.
I just don't understand why they aren't more honest about it and just go pay for it.
Surely it would be much easier.
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