Am I just panicking or should I be concerned?
I’ve been chatting to a guy on here since last October, and wanted to meet him, but due to a family bereavement on his side, a meet hasn’t happened yet.
Recently I’ve really wanted to meet him, but when I mention he says he can’t, as he’s too flakey and concentrating on his family. He has a habit of going awol from chats for weeks at a time, with no word, then comes back, and expects me to be ok about that.
This week he finally decided that he’s like to meet, but I’m worried about the circumstances. The hotel he’s picked is near his workplace, but a 40min drive for me, he doesn’t want to meet for a drink first, just go straight for sex. He’s picked the day, but hasn’t even asked me if it’s convenient for me.
My intuition is telling me to be careful, but I’m not sure if I’m just nervous, as this would be my first affair.
Could anyone that has more experience offer and guidance or gut feelings on this one?
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Comments (151)
boav91 - 11 Mar, 2024 - 10:45PM
So I am a guy on here and I think that is off personally. If I was ghosted like that I would be wary. Depends on what you want though. If it is a relationship you want then this guy to me does not sound like that is what he is after. If you are happy with just sex, and many are, then good luck too. There are a lot of decent guys on here from what I have seen on these chats as well as many players. If you are happy with a player then go for it but if you want a relationship beyond just sex, then this does not sound like what the other person is looking for. At least from what you have said.
You are not obliged to do anything you dont want to. Good luck with whatever you choose to do but be true to yourself.
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1653827 - 11 Mar, 2024 - 09:22PM
Bobbie100
No.
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1458650 - 11 Mar, 2024 - 09:11PM
Some guy hasn’t got time for a drink? You’ve not met and he wants to go straight to business? Sounds heartless and slightly repulsive.
Seriously. There’s better out there…
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1575033 - 11 Mar, 2024 - 08:43PM
As part of some self promotion and advise, based on virtual and messaging and photos all being at risk of being deliberately or accidentally misleading, if your really looking for a real affair of any kind why not accomplish many things all in one go?, meeting in person for 5 minutes is worth a years messaging and 100's of photos, to be specific :
Proves the other party can actually physically meet, wants to meet, looks however they look, smell, dress, behave, chemistry check, do they make an effort? Do you, could you fancy them, are you comfortable in their company?
Try and get that lot and more "on line"
A cup of coffee and please no one ask who pays for it, and just say nice to meet but your not my type, or if necessary message them with that news later.
Sermon ends, felt like bashing the keys.
Frankly I think the question was a plant anyway.
Call it illicit speed dating.
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Bellab50 - 11 Mar, 2024 - 08:25PM
Don’t do anything your not comfortable doing, keep safe
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Paula99 - 11 Mar, 2024 - 07:57PM
If you have to make excuses for your lover why he’s not meeting or why he behaving in a certain way …WAKE UP
Think about his partner …you don’t have to live with him or fuck him …thankfully 🥴
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1575033 - 11 Mar, 2024 - 07:44PM
You must be pretending to be so naive but in case you are not as your asking for advise here it is, I just hope you consider it and do he right thing and just blow him out, completely igonore he deserves nothing else.
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Toffee.macchiato4 - 11 Mar, 2024 - 06:46PM
OP
This is your journey
Your fulfilment
Your satisfaction
Your escape
Nothing in ur message denotes any of these things so I ask you why do you want to pursue this?
If you’re not happy excited, feel adored and respected then it’s just not worth it. In my humble opinion 😊
Life is to be enjoyed on your terms
Be happy 😃
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Allyoursme - 11 Mar, 2024 - 06:30PM
Look you are right to be concerned, and he does sound very flakey. I think he is playing you along, because you're probably enticing him to do so. Of course not your fault, you're probably into him too. I think he's probably new to this, or just much younger than the age he has stated on here - immature trait. Either way I think you're instincts will guide you. I'm sure there are others on here you'll get along with and fancy. I'm available....until I am! X
1653842 - 11 Mar, 2024 - 06:11PM
Firstly surely any man at least wants to meet for coffee/drink/meal first you surely should be allowed to pick where as a man I fit in with a lady and I will happily travel .Yes a bereavement is awful but no excuse for not being in regular contact .To not even pick a day in conjunction with you red flags for me . the ball is in your court suggest if he is interested you will meet for coffee in a place of your choosing .Hope it works out and he is just nervous
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