Comments (67)

Originalbadboy - 19 Mar, 2024 - 09:14AM

It is indeed a turn off but the fact that someone lets that overspill is also worrying
Let’s face things like not swapping pics after agreeing to are emotionally very difficult to cope with
We are trying to reason the unreasonable
Nobody is going to declare up front that once comfortable here comes my emotional baggage

1575033 - 07 Mar, 2024 - 09:10PM

I cannot imagine why anyone would be interested in any baggage I might have.
Best to have a coffee meet for 5 minutes, addresses all sorts of issues both ways.
Authors message Ends.

Enigma.. - 06 Mar, 2024 - 09:18AM

I have to admit that I’ve been chatting to a couple of males and things were looking positive.
Yes… finally someone who can chat about more than just the weather lol.
Then a few days down the line it all changes and they have started moaning about their wife, family, friends, work and other situations in their lives.
It really is off putting.
I’m on here to find someone and someone positive at that.
I do not want someone else’s emotional baggage dumped at my door… so to speak.
I apologise for being so blunt but that’s the way I feel.
Like it or not 🤷🏼‍♀️.

 4 members like this comment.

Ssrah 2.1 - 06 Mar, 2024 - 12:50AM

It's never happened to me on here. But if it ever did I'd wrap it up pretty quickly🙂. Who wants to know about the mundane, everyday stuff - this should be about the very opposite.

 1 member likes this comment.

Monicas55 - 05 Mar, 2024 - 01:49PM

Yes absolutely feel the same.

Paula99 - 01 Mar, 2024 - 11:47AM

Fluffy and Hope …

I agree with both of you..unfortunately if you have a sixth sense …or as my husband says to the kids …your mum can see around corners…then it’s difficult to be objective take a leap of faith with someone..
Lots of guys seem to fill their lives up with too many elements…work/family/ hobbies/ parents/ sports/ pastimes etc etc ....but as it has been said …we do end up as a support network because they become complacent and then they start searching on IE but have no idea how they will fit another woman in their lives …if they can’t organise their own ..women don’t want pen pals or do they want to be listening to anything work related or the reasons why the marriage has gone tits up..we have enough drama in our lives as it is …😔
IE is escape …..let’s do it 👍

 5 members like this comment.

1575033 - 01 Mar, 2024 - 10:54AM

From my point of view an IE is for additional recreation and comfort and is best used for that, not to make up for inadequacies elsewhere.
Some escapism, being the real you without the baggage that has become you.
Sexually enjoying what you feel you cannot when mixed with "married" life.
Occasional unloading can help but nothing heavy.
An IE can remind you what / who you are and not what you have got used to and assist in a readjustment. ( Advert by me ends)

FluffyClouds - 26 Feb, 2024 - 01:09PM

Hope Springs -

I couldn't have put it better myself.

It is draining. And when those issues in their life impact on your life and the affair; the let downs and excuses because of their 'car crash' situation in their home life interfering incessantly with plans and meets (we have our own lives, time and re-arrangements to make too) it does start to become a mental and emotional grind...the fun starts to feel like a chore... Plans in place, will they change, will something crop up AGAIN in their shit show life? It is unpleasant, unhealthy and ultimately a form of psychological abusive.

 3 members like this comment.

1648772 - 26 Feb, 2024 - 12:32PM

I'm all for having open communication and my partner being able to talk about their stresses etc but if it is a bit too much, too often, it can be very draining.

 1 member likes this comment.

1642853 - 25 Feb, 2024 - 10:11AM

This has been a major issue for me. So many men sign up as a distraction to their real life problems - I've heard it all, truly. If you're a feeling person you do sympathise but after a long time of helping and supporting someone you care about it is incredibly draining. What was supposed to be an additive to your life becomes another source of strain - as if work, family, kids, money isn't enough! You end up being like the Samaritan Service. I've borne the weight of this for a long time, and it has truly worn me down.

Aside from this, those with significant personal problems are more inclined to suddenly disappear. Like an unstable chemical, they are impulsive, depressed, their self-esteem can be shakey and they are more inclined to pull the plug suddenly, which can be incredibly hurtful, and when they do this repeatedly it becomes emotionally abusive. Their problems cause you to have problems!

I'm currently taking time out from 'this' because of these issues. It depleats your soul.

 8 members like this comment.