Comments (72)

SomeGuyOrOther - 07 Jun, 2024 - 02:49PM

Having low interest might just mean they're not especially into you, not that they aren't serious.

 1 member likes this comment.

rarity23 - 07 Jun, 2024 - 02:39PM

For me, if you could class as a red flag....if a lady is permanently online, but rarely responds to messages, as probably just a chatter with plenty of others !

If she's interested, she'll be corresponding regularly :)

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SomeGuyOrOther - 07 Jun, 2024 - 12:59PM

Peaches is 100% correct. Also the reality of an affair is totally different from the rose-tinted fantasy and lots of newbies either can't handle that reality or change their mind about the whole concept. There's only so often you can read "sorry but I just can't do this" before you give up on beginners entirely.

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Secretmeetings - 07 Jun, 2024 - 11:30AM

Lists of activities they claim to do, such as snow boarding, golf, spin classes etc.
I'm here for an affair not to share hobbies.

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Peaches1 - 07 Jun, 2024 - 07:05AM

Cheshirelady - 06 Jun, 2024 - 06:46PM

In my experience of first timers, it rarely develops into anything but chatting and maybe a drink.

A high percentage are just curious. Many are over paranoid so spend half the time looking over their shoulder and often followed by sorry I feel guilty on my partner so cant do this.

Just my opinion but would prefer someone who knows the boundaries and has dealt with all the initial emotions previously. They are usually sure of what they want out of an affair.

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Cheshirelady - 06 Jun, 2024 - 06:46PM

Why would someone saying not done this before be a red flag? Curious?

Peaches1 - 05 Jun, 2024 - 02:09PM

Profiles that contain......

Bored.
Happily married.
Not sure what I'm doing here.
Not done this before.
Like women who wear stilettos and stockings.

To name a few.

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Paula99 - 05 Jun, 2024 - 11:54AM

London_adventures …

I have to agree with you for the most part but …yes the newbies are a bit green but sometimes they bring something else to the table ….I am not really a fan but we have all been there at some point and someone has given us a foot on the ladder…..

As far as ‘listing’ what people don’t want …it’s not a negative thing because for most of us it’s tried and tested and there are a lot of idiots on dating apps that just want the fantasy and therefore some have created the ‘firewalls’ to deter these types of people….
In past times the thoughtful/kind messages had worked but some have learned it’s easier to ‘say nothing ‘ 🙅

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1551259 - 05 Jun, 2024 - 11:29AM

This is a great question! When someone lists the things they don't want, seems a waste of time to be negative and reciveing 'How are you' messages and that's it, without much more effort or intention! Not looking for a pen pal! It's great when someone sends through a thoughtful message that leads to a great exchange and conversation, whether it leads to something or not in the end.

SomeGuyOrOther - 04 Jun, 2024 - 05:44AM

It sounds harsh, but another red flag for me is anyone who is new to all this. I get that we all have to start somewhere, but don't have the time or the inclination to hold someone's hand as they get on the rollercoaster for the first time. Come back once you've all your guilt, anger and paranoia sorted.

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