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How much is too much?

Does anyone else find it drags you down when you are chatting to someone, it's going well, and then they commence to dump their emotional baggage onto you? Complaining about their life choices, their wife/husband, their problems at home, why their partner isn't giving them sex, their kids, their relatives? Particularly when you've not even met? Turn off?

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Comments (116)

marklondonengland - 06 Jun, 2025 - 02:09PM

I agree with @Cheryl Kim on the discussion about gyms and exercise. What is wrong in looking after yourself? There are many people here who excuse their lack of fitness by suggesting it is normal at their age... is that really so? Is it really so hard to get up off your backside and out for a walk or a run?


Paula99 - 06 Jun, 2025 - 05:30AM

Some people just can’t ’turn it off ‘😨..
As Boav91 has discovered…depression isn’t something you can shut down … it’s a serious issue and those people should be channelled to another outlet …it’s easy for me to say that as it’s part of my job…
Some just like a good old chat and that is fine but if the OP isn’t looking for that then you have to stipulate…no need to be rude… it’s good to promote positivity
For those in their ‘right mindset’ it may be difficult to process what you are hearing from the OP …especially if you have not been ill…don’t forget this is a cross section of the population….strange/quirky they are here to stay ..

The flip side of this is you may find an IE that won’t/ can’t talk about their lives…some are ‘deeper ‘ in their mindset or they are just private people….😊



Be careful what you wish for ….


boav91 - 05 Jun, 2025 - 11:43PM

The first time on here I was chatting to someone who was only telling me how depressed they were in their real life. I really did not feel that was right and a bit odd to tell that sort of thing to people they had never met. Now however ,with my IE, as it developed, you want to know more about them. When you are with someone longer you cannot just talk sex. Things happen in life and in any form of intimacy you will talk. As people have said it comes down to the connection and the length and depth of the relationship . At the very beginning it should be an escape.

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Paula99 - 01 Jun, 2025 - 09:38AM

In the grand scheme of things….if you form an emotional bond with your IE then baggage is a part of it …it makes you who you are …these things occur during the long term aspect not in the first couple of dates as free therapy isn’t what we are expecting to find in the ‘honeymoon’ period ..

In my experience less is more ….having an I E is about discovering each other and each time you see your IE you find out something more …I don’t wear my heart on my sleeve and I am a private person so I expect my IE to have the similar characteristics…

I am not a fan of guys that complain about the family grind /work….I do find that some need to off load as they are stressed out ….in that case you need a real lifestyle change and getting an IE isn’t the answer….take responsibility and get your arse into gear ….

In time if you do find your escape in IE then sharing your family fun/ sad story’s makes your relationship stronger and your boundaries fixed…😊

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Stucknotdesperate - 29 May, 2025 - 11:20PM

Yes turn off, I have my own baggage, that's what I'm on here to get the space from, not sure I want to have to deal with someone else's instead .....
Having said that, if the connection is formed from a deeper conversation and the emotional dump is a natural follow on, then maybe it's more about the signals being sent out that it was ok to do that?

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Here we go 693 - 28 May, 2025 - 11:11PM

I can see this getting a little off topic. The whole issue of how much is too much is dependent on how long you have been seeing your IE. I both gave and received solace from my IE as time progressed. It wasn't always about their spouse, sometimes it related to things at work or other issues that troubled them. Not sure what this has to do with PB's and bunnies!!!

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Paula99 - 28 May, 2025 - 08:29PM

There is nothing wrong with being the best you can be …whatever exercise you choose to do …but being great in the gym doesn’t make you great in bed ….just makes you more flexible and comfortable in our own skin…
As for the people that think it’s acceptable to ‘let themselves’ go and criticise others for taking responsibility….. good luck with that one

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Cheryl Kim - 28 May, 2025 - 08:01PM

I rather enjoy talking about PB and further training tips actually. Among a whole host of other topics. And no, an obsessed gym bunny isn’t typing this post - we don’t need to be, to take care of ourselves.

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EmnEm123 - 28 May, 2025 - 01:22PM

Areyoufee?

There is nothing wrong with people keeping themselves in shape. If you don’t that’s on you. Don’t criticise others for not wanting to meet with someone that doesn’t take care of themselves.That’s twice you have commented/complained about gym bunnies!

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Areyoufee? - 27 May, 2025 - 11:20AM

Never got to that stage yet, seeing someone on here is saying I know this exiats otherwise you would be trying to meet a gym bunny and discussing your PB as your only topic of conversation.

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