Comments (135)

Lillib - 06 Jul, 2020 - 05:31PM

Tallone1966

I looked at your profile and it does not tell me anything about you. Note your profile is your own advertisement. It's like you selling a product.

Also put something in your ideal partner, it can be a few lines.

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Tallone1966 - 06 Jul, 2020 - 05:19PM

I can be shy at times. I’m unsure how to reply or messages. I have tried being my normal self, get ignore. Tried being more risqué still get i*nored. I just wish I knew the best way in replying to adverts?

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Classycougar - 06 Jul, 2020 - 05:10PM

‘Chemistry’ is such a fickle little bugger....and no matter how much you chat/exchange pics/voice calL... you just don’t know if it’s going to be there until you meet in the flesh!! IMHO...

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gemini2310 - 06 Jul, 2020 - 05:04PM

How can you tell chatting to someone on here or even phone calls I cannot anyway and if they want more photos it's a big no for me it takes me time to trust a person I quite like if someone's quiet and make up for it I am very bubbly and chatty but I cannot make my mind up till several meets and that would only involve a drink or lunch

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1117169 - 06 Jul, 2020 - 04:31PM

@TCM

Yes, until you actually meet and " Click" its a lottery.

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tea_coffee_me_ - 06 Jul, 2020 - 03:43PM

" Sportster1200L -
I always recommend a voice conversation before a first meeting. A persons true character will become more apparent"

Yes and no, a potential IE wanted a chat first, so I went along with it.
We had a really great conversation.

Felt positive. He then messaged asking for more photos.
I declined, as he had already had all the ones I give out.

I was immediately blocked.

So a great conversation will not necessarily lead to a meeting.

My time chatting to him (and all previous) a complete waste of my time as he was just a photograph collector...

So yes I guess his true character was shown, however not IN the phone call.

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1117169 - 06 Jul, 2020 - 03:22PM

I would also add that sometimes the thought of a voice conversation in real time with a real person serves as a stark indication that things might actually happen in reality and what was really only a pleasant fantasy up to that point becomes a step too far and they cant do it with you or indeed anyone.The same can happen after the first conversation too.

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1117169 - 06 Jul, 2020 - 02:47PM

@TCM.

Well said. The person that you get to know and think you fancy online may not be quite like or not even remotely like the one you meet in person and chemistry only works in the flesh. Its quite a common thing as you say. The TV show "Catfish" illustrates extreme examples of this very well. Carefully written profiles and carefully selected and edited photos are of limited value and can be misleading.

I always recommend a voice conversation before a first meeting. A persons true character will become more apparent and extreme shyness and other traits, attractive and unattractive will manifest themselves. If you can chat freely and openly without awkwardness that is a very good sign that your first face to face meeting will go well. You can also ask questions to test honesty and truthfulness. If it all goes well Its then down to the chemistry.

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tea_coffee_me_ - 06 Jul, 2020 - 01:42PM

As stated, you both need to check that you both wish to meet again, the majority of my first meetings, no matter how wonderful, both parties often do not wish to meet again.
Some say so, grown up, others just go silent, limbo annoying.

If you both decide that you wish to meet again, excellent.

Do keep in mind though that after "months of online messaging" either one or both of you may have made each other into something you are not.
The imagination is very powerful, and can go off at an incorrect tangent of its own.

Hopefully it will be a good relationship, however calm down and be prepared for it being one of the 99% or so that do not carry on.
(stats from my experience, ONLY)

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WaitingtobeFound - 06 Jul, 2020 - 01:21PM

Well when I met my ie I though what a confident guy he is but he later confided in me that he is shy. I found that admission attractive and I do sometimes see the shyness creeping in a little.

Unsure about Qtesh's advice, can one be too forward in these situations? I suppose that if it does put him off at least you will know.

Do you chat when you don't meet? Do you send cheeky texts?

Many on here have been out of the dating game a long time so he may just be unsure as to how to approach the situation.