Comments (63)

1421316 - 30 Dec, 2020 - 08:47AM

What's the similarity between brussel sprouts and pubic hair...?

You push them both to the side and carry on eating....

 1 member likes this comment.

1178883 - 30 Dec, 2020 - 08:27AM

Drinking at home instead of the pub is becoming a right pain in the arse...

I nearly asked the wife for her fucking phone number!

 2 members like this comment.

scilla - 29 Dec, 2020 - 09:43PM

Donald Duckto hotel concierge:- Can I have 3 condoms please?
Concierge:- Certainly sir , shall I put them on your bill for you?
Donald:- Why? Do you think I'm a pervert?

 3 members like this comment.

1427056 - 29 Dec, 2020 - 04:20PM

My very first girlfriend's name was Simile.

Looking back I don't know what I met her for.

 2 members like this comment.

1390490 - 29 Dec, 2020 - 11:22AM

I am feeling very down today😞
I asked my wife if I was the only one she has ever had...she said she's had quite a few 8's and 9's but i was definitely the only 1!

Kaz2518 - 29 Dec, 2020 - 09:44AM

Knock Knock
Who’s there?
Doctor
*insert answer here*

1178883 - 29 Dec, 2020 - 09:11AM

Went to the doctor's and found out my new doctor is a young female, drop-dead gorgeous!

I was embarrassed but she said "Don't worry, I'm a professional. I've seen it all before. Just tell me what's wrong and I'll help you in any way I can"

I said "I think my cock tastes funny!"

 4 members like this comment.

1357586 - 29 Dec, 2020 - 01:49AM

My friend put a map of the world on the wall, gave me a dart and said wherever it lands that is where we are going when this pandemic is over.

Turns out we're spending 2 weeks behind the fridge

 4 members like this comment.

Lorimer Black - 26 Dec, 2020 - 02:03PM

How does Donald Trump change a light bulb?

He holds the bulb in the socket and waits for the universe to revolve around him!

All things and wonderful - 24 Dec, 2020 - 10:38PM

Right, I really feel this needs to be said.
Lately there’s been a lot of debates going on about anti-vaxers. I am now coming forward to stand up and say I am firmly in the Anti-Vax camp.

There, I’ve said it. I have my reasons, like many anti-vaxers, but it’s important that everyone approaches this sensitive topic armed with information THEY know to be true. I know my truth, and I have first hand experience that backs up my stance……..
I once had a vax and it was the worst vacuum cleaner ever. I will never buy one again. All these armchair experts have clearly never experienced the disappointment of having to go over the same piece of carpet again and again to pick up the same biscuit crumbs.

 9 members like this comment.