Comments (223)

boav91 - 28 Sep, 2024 - 09:33AM

@paula fair comments I can accept that

I will not post on this forum again after this.

First for language and offence apologies to anyone I had upset or offended. My intention was not to do that .

I may have expressed it badly but was to only point out as I have seen a few men say they feel exploited and that is how It can be perceived . You and others are absolutely right that there are others who don’t mind and I conceded that point a while ago. I would love to show you some of those emails that made me feel bad .

Re social challenges and misogyny obviously I have never faced that but I have faced discrimination in other ways. I know it is not nice and maybe it is my psychological trauma that I respond badly to some situations and feeling exploited or attacked may lead to inappropriate responses.

I also realise many people have great relationships on here and I see that as a hope for myself actually. I have always appreciated your wisdom. I apologise and withdraw

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Enigma.. - 28 Sep, 2024 - 09:26AM

@Paula99

Well said…

This post is a personal experience and not directed at anyone. I’m just making a point.

I would like to point out that there are also male members on this site that will take advantage of female members when they say “I’ll pay the bill or It’s my turn to treat you”.
Ordering up expensive wines, cocktails and food etc…. that they wouldn’t order up normally. Insisting on a room at 4/5 star hotel.
I’ve come across a few over the past couple of years and you can usually tell them a mile off.

Sometimes an out of date credit card can come in really handy to teach someone a lesson lol 😂😉😊.

I would also like to point out that I do not mind paying my way.
However… try and take advantage of me and it will be you who will be paying the price… Laugh Out Loud 😏.

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ExoticOrchid - 28 Sep, 2024 - 09:07AM

PE/AS

🍾🥂

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Paula99 - 28 Sep, 2024 - 09:07AM

Athena sings …

I am with you on that one …👍

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Paula99 - 28 Sep, 2024 - 08:07AM

boav91.. to summarise

You have certainly ruffled a few feathers with your comments and your terminology….but that doesn’t mean you can excuse yourself..
We have all heard about how ‘ideal’ your affair is… the point where some think you must be the only one that’s ever had a ‘perfect’ partner….there are some ladies/gents in here that have had years with the same partner and no one knows ….my own record is quite long …In my experience it’s not about who should pay and who shouldn’t… equal terms shouldn’t be measured by that fact…there are lots of guys that are the ‘breadwinner ‘ in the affair status but that doesn’t mean they are unhappy with the arrangement…some just do it because that’s part of their character and they ‘like’ to do it ….to say that this causes ‘tension’ …the jury’s out on that.

There are such ‘high maintenance’ individuals who require 5 star treatment but we all know how to avoid them..

Commodity/unequal/tension…would I

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Pink Eiga - 28 Sep, 2024 - 07:48AM

AthenaSings - 27 Sep, 2024 - 08:36PM

As will I 🥂🍸🍷 🛏️

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AthenaSings - 27 Sep, 2024 - 08:36PM

I never said I was for or against sharing/covering a bill. And if any one did that’s their prerogative. If it doesn’t work, move on and find someone whose values/needs align with yours. I take issue with the archaic trope of women that is being perpetuated and apparently endorsed by someone of the same gender. To minimise a woman’s financial concerns to cosmetics is the most backward thing that has been said in this thread. The rant could continue with the very current existing pay and power gaps or even that those “brigades” as you so indelicately put were norms created by men in the first place but why enlighten the uninstructed? I’ll just enjoy the next drink bought for me 😇

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boav91 - 27 Sep, 2024 - 07:34AM

Part 2 and I hope part 1 goes up first

I love independent women who don’t need a man but want a man as their equal in all things. We live in times when women are able to do and be whoever they want and the expectation of that should be equality. When there is a dynamic change it does affect people psychologically and there are many amazing independent women out there. Fortunately for me the one I found was one of those independent women who is my equal and we share most things including expenses.

I do not see why that desire to have a partner as my equal was so bad.

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boav91 - 27 Sep, 2024 - 07:17AM

@ Paula I guess I did although unintentionally in part.

I think EmnEm understood more the point I was trying to make and thank you by the way.

In reality I am more than happy to pay if the relationship is right. The point was there are women on here that feel entitled ( not necessarily those on the chats) and expect it anll to be one sided and I don’t like that. As you mentioned when it is part of an ongoing relationship between two people you fall into a way of being. No one should ever expect the other side too do something they don’t want to but also the era of the man pays for everything and should be expected to I think has gone. There are many amazing independent women who like the fact they are independent of the need for a man and then it is for that couple to decide.

Whether you like it or not from a psychological perspective if there is an imbalance all I was trying to say it’s it can lead to the feeling of exploitation for some. Again it depends in the relationship. I believe in equ

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EmnEm123 - 26 Sep, 2024 - 09:49PM

I can't read boav91's mind but I presumed he was referring to the numerous women on here who are part of the 'treat me like a princess, take me out and spoil me' brigade. That is transactional.

I'm getting the impression that some are looking to be offended and have a dig at him, the name calling is a bit much.

Why should the man pay for everything, more so, why would any self respecting woman want him to?

And before any of you come back with the nonsense about women having to fork out for lingerie, getting their nails done, their hair done, don't bother.

I do all of that for myself, whether I'm seeing someone or not.

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