Does it become easier?
For those who have been on IE for some time, I'm interested to hear how your approach to affairs and finding a suitable partner may have changed with experience compared to when you first started. Does it become easier to know what you're looking for and to manage an affair successfully over time or is each one different? What did you learn along the way
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Comments (90)
Johster - 28 Feb, 2024 - 10:45AM
I used IE years ago, two phone chats, difficult for me to meet one, and the other was not looking for what I wanted, but was attractive, and one long email contact for several months, but we never met, she stopped sending. Hoping for more this time.
One 2 one - 28 Feb, 2024 - 09:03AM
I've been lucky enough to meet a couple of really nice people here. Not everything works out as you might want, so bare that in mind and keep yourself protected, only essential information need be exchanged early. Careful planning and keep alibis and loose ends to a minimum, nothing worse that the feeling you've left yourself open to being caught.
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1645560 - 26 Feb, 2024 - 09:51PM
Its really all down to luck. The stars align and you happen to cross paths with someone that is on your wavelength, respectful, that doesn't mess you around for kicks or treat you like a dog
Even when you start off as casual, after a few times you both realise its a good thing and you become each others first choice, then it lasts as long as it lasts
It terms of the affair logistics. I made a lot of mistakes initially but you learn to cover your tracks better and have stronger cover stories. Its easy to setup secret phones, credit cards and bank accounts to keep it all discrete and out of sight
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giggly hamster - 26 Feb, 2024 - 08:46PM
OP, every person you meet is different and their rules and the way the dynamic will work will be different.
What you learn is how to make things run more smoothly and not make those schoolboy mistakes like creating alibi's and being able to adapt and harden to what is thrown at you in the future.
Like everything in life you never know what to do right, you only know what not to do wrong. Experience after all is knowing what not to do, and someone with lots of experience has screed up a lot along the way and learnt from it.
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1639125 - 25 Feb, 2024 - 07:32PM
I had a 5 years affair from IE. I wanted something long term but I genuinely did not think it would have lasted that much. I believe the secret was that we connected mentally. I am good looking but I am not a model and I do think physical attraction is important but not as much as the mental connection and the being in each other brains all the time.
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1575033 - 04 Jan, 2024 - 06:12PM
Its all pot lack and all different. Compromise to achieve the aim
1586130 - 04 Jan, 2024 - 02:50PM
My approach has definitely changed over the years. I am less concerned about distance (within reason) and much more picky when it comes to who I will message.
The results are the same - probably a couple of dates which may or may not come to anything, but it's less work on my part.
I'm also a lot more realistic about how difficult it is to meet someone nice, and so don't get as despondent when I see an empty inbox.
You only need to get lucky once.
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Te chercher - 31 Dec, 2023 - 08:14PM
Hours of online communication is no substitute for a chance meeting lasting only a few minutes. In those few moments I can usually work out if this is someone I would like to see again. Online communication is cumbersome and unreliable. I have found the process frustrating and it has left me jaded.
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1641029 - 30 Dec, 2023 - 10:31PM
Back again. I can't say as it gets easier with my set of geographical circumstances, but I'm ever hopeful
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