Comments (90)

boav91 - 30 Dec, 2023 - 12:46PM

For me it took six months to find my ie. I had had chats with others, one which led to a meet up but nothing that really progressed to anything sustained that I was looking for.

There were negatives in there too being blocked for miscommunication and people making assumptions based on incorrect ideas and frequently just being ghosted. People trying to exploit you too for money on a couple of occasions. All very frustrating and disappointing.

It then suddenly changed. I met the one who I just clicked with and we have now been together a few months. I think it is hard to put a timescale on these things but when it works, it works. Yes it is early days but so far, things are getting better so fingers crossed that continues.

For now I feel very content with where things are at so yes it did get better but when that is depends on meeting the right person for you

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CatsPyjamas - 29 Dec, 2023 - 11:39PM

Zero luck so far. No knowledge to pass on.

 3 members like this comment.

Life is a beach - 29 Dec, 2023 - 09:59PM

First 3 months were disappointing, chatted and met a couple of nice people but no spark, met someone who I thought was OK, but he wasn't right.
I was a novice, then met my now IE who is absolutely the needle in the haystack. My first and believe my only.
It gets easier to adapt my excuses to be able to spend time with him.
You just have to work out what is best adapted to your normal life for it to work. Yes, it gets easier!

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Delicious Chaos - 29 Dec, 2023 - 03:21PM

CL77

I think the danger is what if that doesn’t happen then what?
I think it might be highly unlikely that you don’t find someone who was better than the last. Do you want to fall into that trap? If it was so great why did it finish.

I don’t want to have that mindset because I’m being honest, if I don’t find someone who was as good as the last, does it really matter? If the sex and company is good then why not. I think you need to look at each ie and see what they bring to the table.

I know what I want and did say I wouldn’t settle for less but I’m beginning to think I may need to budge a little. I really don’t want to turn into a dried up born again virgin

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ClassyLady77 - 29 Dec, 2023 - 02:05PM

I’ve learnt a lot during my time looking for an affair and during my 3 year affair. I’m finding atm my last affair set the bar high that I’m finding it hard to meet someone who’ll meet it.. The next one must be better than the last of what’s the point.. He made me feel sexy and brought out my kinky side even more..

Secret fun 100% agree..

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Secret_fun2020 - 29 Dec, 2023 - 10:17AM

In some ways it's easier and in some ways harder. Easier in the sense you know what you are doing and what you want. Harder because you are perhaps looking for something even better thsn you had before.

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Doricles - 29 Dec, 2023 - 09:27AM

IE’s become easier once you’ve crossed the rubicon and actually met someone for the first time. But it’s not something you should do without giving the risks associated with your infidelity lot thought beforehand. That first meet will either lead to an ongoing, mutually beneficial and rewarding relationship or give you the confidence to search out other like minded ppl to have secret liaisons with. And that’s when life gets more riskier because you’ll crave the company of the other person or persons and you become complacent; you may have reconciled your duplicitous lifestyle in your head but now you have to manage the relationship(s) you’re either in or you’re cultivating! And do so in a high tech world where your movements can be tracked 24/7 by tech savvy suspicious partners, or you’ll show out in other ways i.e. by changing your routine, appearance or style of clothes or, yes, appearing too happy! So to answer your question, “No, for IE members in long term relationships, it doesn’t ge

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Paula99 - 10 Jul, 2022 - 05:26PM

Compared to a few years ago...online dating is more difficult than it looks

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1470697 - 10 Oct, 2021 - 06:52PM

You learn about yourself ,you learn what you’re looking for in others ,your bs detector gets finely tuned and you find out that most people are as unimaginative and dull as cardboard.
However…sometimes you find more than you ever expected.

 2 members like this comment.

laughingboy - 09 Oct, 2021 - 07:08PM

PS. I think it does get easier, and I personally have crystallised my random thoughts on what I'm looking for.