Should I or shouldn’t I?
Hi, my wife and are still very much in love and are actually still having good sex but we both feel there’s a little something missing. So, we have just recently started an open relationship and we’ve both newly joined IE in the last couple of weeks or so. We’re both looking for quite different things from IE but obviously ultimately it comes down to wanting to get intimate with someone other than each other.
My wife seems to be getting loads of attention but me, not so much.
My question is, do you think the fact that I’ve mentioned in my profile about being in an open relationship is putting a lot of ladies off.
Should I not mention it? Or is it something else?
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Comments (105)
1610442 - 06 Jul, 2024 - 02:15PM
lol I missed theses posts
ExoticOrchid - 06 Jul, 2024 - 01:29PM
Indeed P99.
I wouldn't say something I have not experienced.
This outdated perception of "swinging" from those who have no idea does make me laugh though ... going on and on about keys in a bowl by the door and not wanting to see each with others, etc!!! 🙄
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1494077 - 06 Jul, 2024 - 01:17PM
Paula99 - 06 Jul, 2024 - 11:57AM
The last bit of your post is very attractive indeed! 🤣🤣
Paula99 - 06 Jul, 2024 - 11:57AM
The OP in this debate has had information from both sides… the opinions in here are not from over thinking individuals but from the ones that have been in his position…have the experience to ‘say it as it is ‘ and come out the other end…in terms of being a newbie and testing the waters as such we have all thought’ hmmmm wish I knew this before ‘ …but in fairness to the OP he has his reasons and rules are meant to be broken..
Whatever decisions we make it will make an impact on our lives whether it’s good or bad but as my father used to say ..we make our beds and lie in them ( or we borrow other peoples beds )🤪
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1610442 - 06 Jul, 2024 - 11:21AM
Mmmm risky very risky but saying that not any more than a secret affair. Answer to your question is I think there’s lots of women who enjoy the secret sneaking around but just as many looking for ironic but try honest men . It’s a number game and there’s lots more men on here than women so maybe join a swinging club that what both of you get to join in with no strings
Siwalk - 06 Jul, 2024 - 09:57AM
If I was you I would stop because she might go off with another man .and you are not getting anything.
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1682706 - 05 Jul, 2024 - 10:28PM
A few observations from someone who thinks an open relationship has a lot going for it:
- you love your partner, you don’t own them, that means the right for each of you to search for fulfilment
- the chances of finding someone who is a 100% perfect match is slim, so pretty much every relationship will have situations where one or other person is unhappy
- the ideal of perfect marriage and supposedly only having feelings for one person means that unhappiness has nowhere positive to go: you either have an affair which breaches trust + guilt but is exciting; get progressively more frustrated/bored and grow apart; leave
-communicate, communicate, communicate - work through the fears, open up to the fun
- it doesn’t mean you have to share everything: respect each others space/privacy goes a long way, work hard to find your own space and enjoy it, not be claustrophobic
- and it may all end in tears! But lots of relationships do, and lots of relationships find ways to exist in all sorts of unusualness
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1494077 - 05 Jul, 2024 - 08:40PM
AtP48,
I think it takes a very giving and secure personality to allow for a spouse to do this. Your wife is a lucky woman that you are so understanding. As a woman on IE, I probably wouldn’t go with a man who I knew was in an open relationship. I quite like the clandestine nature of an affair, but that’s just me.
Hope you settle into the kind of lifestyle both of you are happy with.
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1683831 - 05 Jul, 2024 - 08:12PM
It's great that you and your wife are open and communicative about your needs. Mentioning your open relationship in your profile is important for honesty and setting clear expectations. While it might put some people off, it ensures that those who do respond are genuinely comfortable with your situation. Besides this, consider optimising other aspects of your profile: ensure your photos are high quality, and make your bio engaging and reflective of your personality. Actively engage with potential matches and show genuine interest. Patience and persistence are key. Good luck!
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ExoticOrchid - 05 Jul, 2024 - 04:52PM
FluffyClouds - 09:51AM
I guess some leopards do change their spots then.
Impressive.
Well done. 👏
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