Comments (210)

1575958 - 18 Jan, 2023 - 01:59PM

I once worked and car shared with someone who was fairly openly having an affair. Not with anyone we worked with, but someone she knew elsewhere. She summed it up succinctly, life is not a dress rehearsal. Now that seems pretty shallow and on the face of it's not of a cop out. If we took it to be literal then we would all be doing all manner of questionable things just because we can. What do I take from this? Well I never intended to have an affair. Life changed as we grew comfortable with each other, and before I knew it I was looking around, unsatisfied. I have had a couple of really lovely experiences which put a spring in my step, but nothing long term. I think as has been said previously, it's a number of things including ego. But I don't think there is one single answer.

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1497595 - 28 Dec, 2021 - 02:08PM

We are travelling at 1000 mph through space and we don't know it
Some questions dont need or can be answered
But I know one thing life is short and I entend to enjoy life

1489085 - 28 Dec, 2021 - 11:46AM

Why I cheat - the key reasons, in % terms:
1) Sex: 20%. If I wanted mostly sex, it would be cheaper and faster to book a high end 24 year old escort in a 5* hotel, as it has been pointed out by others here.
2) Intimacy (as distinct from sex): 30%. Kisses, affectionate times outside a hotel room, thinking of someone and knowing she's thinking of me, etc.
3) Narcissism (let me call it what it is): 30%. Pride in getting the hot girl; sense that "I still have it"; the compliments I get from her. Etc etc
4) Ulysses' curse: 50%. The perennial pull of the unknown. Of infinite possibilities. Never mind the fact that experience tells you that possibilities are in fact certainly finite, probably mundane, and likely disappointing in 99% of the cases. So what. Next!
5) Elaborate anthropological and societal reasons ("we are not programmed for monogamy"): 0%. Nice one for self-absolution, if only I could manage to believe that. I tried!
6) Lying to my partner: -30%. I hate it.

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Steven 811 - 27 Dec, 2021 - 09:10AM

Is not just sex. . It's the excitement of doing something naughty. .. With someone how I hope at boreing. .

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Paula99 - 27 Dec, 2021 - 08:11AM

So why do we want to cheat?..we are programmed to love more than one person at a time...love is part of 3 brain systems..the sex drive which is like an* intolerable itch*...then comes the romantic side which is the *mating game* and finally the attachment which makes us feel * calm and secure*....However these 3 systems are not always connected to each other..🤣..so it's possible to feel deep attachment for a long term partner and at the same time feel romantic/sexual attraction to another person....we are not built to be happy but we find and make happiness..I know what you're going to say ...its a cynical take but there is still the *mystery * and *magic* that just can't be explained😏

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ArousingPassion - 27 Dec, 2021 - 07:35AM

Life’s too short
Only around once so want to make it a good one
Drink fine wine
Eat gorgeous food
Meet different people
Do spontaneous stuff

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1492359 - 27 Dec, 2021 - 01:06AM

There is an almost infinite number of markers and related reasons of "why" at a discreet level and despite the reasonable from most on this site they are are not gender specific.

On the aggregate, humans simply seek pleasure when facets of their happiness are missing. It could be anything... drugs, alcohol, obsessive hobbies, travel/escapism or in the case of the sexually disinhibited... an affair.

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1470697 - 26 Dec, 2021 - 09:04PM

We are all different people but we’re also driven by biology to some extent …
Men need to go out and have sex with as many different women as they can to ensure the continuation of the species …
Women need to find and hold on to a man for as long as they can to ensure that our children are taken care of ..
There also religion and society…men needed to make sure their property is passed on to their biological offspring ..bang ..the origins of marriage ..
Didn’t really make people happier in the long run ..but then ..they also didn’t live much passed 50 ..

Delphina - 23 Oct, 2021 - 07:23PM

Mmmhh 🤔

What the expert says;

Men needs a "place" to have sex and women needs a "reason" to have sex

Don't kill the messenger!

🤣🤣🤣🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️

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Lusty40 - 23 Oct, 2021 - 06:56PM

My husband doesn’t ever want sex anymore, hasn’t for years & I love sex.
Think it’s a very healthy important part of life.
BIG difference between love & sex!!

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